Here is another wonderful quote on compulsion and love by Geneen Roth in When Food Is Love.
"Love and compulsion cannot coexist.
"Love is the willingness and ability to be affected by another human being and to allow that effect to make a difference in what you do, say, become.
"Compulsion is the act of wrapping ourselves around an activity, a substance, or a person to survive, to tolerate and numb our experience of the moment.
"Love is a state of connectedness, one that includes vulnerability, surrender, self-valuing, steadiness, and a willingness to face, rather than run from, the worst of ourselves.
"Compulsion is a state of isolation, one that includes self-absorption, invulnerability, low self-esteem, unpredictability, and fear that if we faced our pain, it would destroy us.
"Love expands; compulsion diminishes.
"Compulsion leaves no room for love."